The Life Guide

Introduction

Since turning 18, part of my coping mechanism with growing older was to create a "life journal." A book filled with tips, tricks, and information about surviving being an adult. The amount of knowledge I have accumulated in the past five years has sat in a box underneath my bed, waiting for one day to be useful. Therefore, I have decided to utilize this information and present it to you.

I am 22 years old. I have barely started my adult career, but during this time I have moved in and out of an apartment, started a new relationship, and subsequently ended that one, only to lead to something wonderful a few months later. I have bought a car, repaired the car, and (sometimes) cleaned it. I have found something I am passionate about and lived through days where moving my body felt virtually impossible. I have learned about eating and exercise habits and broken them every time. I am still learning about myself and how to get through this world in a way that seems happier.

I will be wrong. I will talk about what I did and how it was a terrible thing to do at that moment, but then I will tell you how I fixed it. How I have made so many absolutely stupid mistakes, how I unintentionally, and sometimes on purpose, hurt the people I care about most, and how I showed them I could be better than that.

The most important thing about this series and what you might learn is that making mistakes, no matter how stupid or avoidable they might have been, they were made. BUT . . . they can be fixed too.

So for the first lesson, I want you to know that . . .

Making Mistakes is Okay

It's okay, it is so completely okay to make mistakes. We all do it, and the people who reprimand you for doing so are the ones who make the most. Understanding that these mistakes of yours can be rectified when you learn how to recognize and take accountability for them.

So if you accidentally post something on Instagram that you weren't supposed to and you end up hurting someone, how do you fix it?

This is an easy one, you take the post down and apologize for causing that person harm. Even if you have no idea why that post is upsetting to them, apologize for the hurt you caused. That person's feelings are still valid, they are still feeling a lot of hurt and betrayal right now. Then, give them a little bit of time.

However, there are people who will take advantage of your kindness. There is a difference between respecting a person's feelings and allowing them to affect yours. My brother goes through this with one of his friends. They like(-d?) each other quite a bit, but he's a people pleaser just like we were raised to be. He accepted the responsibility and blame for all of her negative emotions even if he was not the source nor a contributing factor to the real problem. That is an example of someone who views you as an outlet for anger and sadness. You are the person that they are going to turn to and blame for all of their negative feelings. If you are in a situation like this now, the best thing you can do for your own mental health is to walk away.

Remember that making mistakes is okay and apologizing for your mistakes is a big brain move. But taking on the emotional responsibility of someone else's pain is not.

If you want a topic to be covered or have something that you want to talk about, send me a message and I'd be happy to post about it.